A Mother’s Evolution during Her Child’s Gender Change
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Product Details

  • Product Code: 87084
  • ISBN: 978-1-60868-708-4
  • Pages: 232
  • 1 Hardback
  • Size: 6.00 x 9.00


On Thanksgiving morning, Paria Hassouri finds herself furiously praying and negotiating with the universe as she irons a dress her fourteen-year-old, designated male at birth, has secretly purchased and wants to wear to dinner with the extended family. In this wonderfully frank, loving, and practical account of parenting a transgender teen, Paria chronicles what amounts to a dual transition: as her child transitions from male to female, she navigates through anger, denial, and grief to eventually arrive at acceptance. Despite her experience advising other parents in her work as a pediatrician, she was blindsided by her child’s gender identity. Paria is also forced to examine how she still carries insecurities from her past of growing up as an Iranian-American immigrant in a predominantly white neighborhood, and how her life experience is causing her to parent with fear instead of love. Paria discovers her capacity to evolve, as well as what it really means to parent and the deepest nature of unconditional love.

This page-turning memoir relates a tender story of loving and parenting a teenager coming out as transgender and transitioning. It explores identity, self-discovery in adolescence and midlife, and difference in a world that values conformity. At its heart, Found in Transition is a universally inspiring portrait of what it means to be a family.


“In this engrossing and sometimes heart-wrenching account, pediatrician Hassouri describes Ava’s . . . transition from male to female with approachable, empathetic language that bridges gaps in understanding about the transition process. The author’s unflinching honesty about her initial ignorance regarding trans issues is refreshing, and her unwavering adherence to truth makes the story both compelling and edifying. . . . A moving and relatable story of love and heartache . . . a unique parenting story that has plenty to say about families in general.”
Kirkus Reviews

“I really can’t imagine a better book not only to help parents going through similar struggles but also, truly, to help us all rethink the expectations we impose on our kids from the day they are born. Paria Hassouri, blindsided and fearful at first, shows us what it looks like to find acceptance and grace, and how transformative and uplifting that awakening can be if we are open to it.”
— Hilary Liftin, author of Movie Star by Lizzie Pepper

“In this open, honest, and relatable memoir, Paria Hassouri invites the reader on a journey through the initial resistance and eventual embrace of her child’s gender transition. Found in Transition speaks to the power of parental love and trusting our children to grow into the people they know themselves to be.”
— Abigail C. Saguy, UCLA professor of sociology and author of Come Out, Come Out, Whoever You Are

“A beautiful, honest, utterly engaging story of a mother’s love. It will inspire your heart and stay with you for a long time.”
— Tembi Locke, New York Times bestselling author of From Scratch

Found in Transition is a narrative of hope for anyone who has ever navigated identity. Paria Hassouri lays bare her own struggles, ultimately demonstrating the idea of family as a verb, proving that such stories are vital to this cultural moment, and that love indeed endures.”
— Shawna Kenney, author and writing instructor, UCLA Extension Writers Program

Found in Transition is simply beautiful — heart-opening and mind-expanding. Paria Hassouri invites us on her journey from resistance to acceptance of her daughter Ava’s trans identity, and in doing so reminds us that spiritual growth takes commitment and work, and that to love and accept one another as we are is the greatest gift we can give.”
— Scott Stabile, author of Big Love: The Power of Living with a Wide-Open Heart

“A brave, bare, humble, and honest portrayal of a mother coming to understand her child’s experience. This much-needed book gives voice to the common journey of bewildered parents trying to do right by their child, especially those supporting adolescents with gender dysphoria — disbelief, anxiety, protectiveness, uncertainty, and love, love, love. Found in Transition is also a great resource for medical professionals to help them understand the real experiences of families with transgender teens.”
— Amy Weimer, MD, medical director, UCLA Gender Health Program