John Grey

John Grey

John Grey received his PhD in psychology from Stanford University and subsequently cofounded the prestigious Stanford Center for Computer Research in Music and Acoustics (CCRMA). His study of how the brain processes musical sound influenced the development of electronic keyboards and the birth of digital music technologies we take for granted today.

Since 1980, John has been in private practice as a relationship coach specializing in intensive couples retreats as well as a trainer of therapists. He has taught workshops in communication skills and relationship tools at the Esalen Institute, the University of California at Berkeley, Stanford University Business School, and the Scripps Institute.

John has extensive training in a number of modalities. He collaborated with Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) founder John Grinder and presented NLP training programs for therapists and other helping professionals. Over the years, he has integrated into his approach psychosynthesis, Ericksonian hypnotherapy, the Enneagram personality system, Peter Levine’s Somatic Experiencing, Buddhist and nondual psychologies, Sue Johnson’s Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for couples, and Stan Tatkin’s Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy (PACT). John is currently a core faculty member of the PACT Institute, a training program for couples therapists.

John has written two previous books on love and relationships: Becoming Soulmates and Relationship Tools for Positive Change. He created an educational card game for couples, The Joy of Relationship Cards. This was turned into an interactive, online self-help system called the Soulmate Oracle and was featured on the sites,, and John’s work with couples has appeared on national television (such as Berman & Berman), in popular magazines (such as Men’s Health), and on major Internet portals (such as iVillage).

Find out more about his couples retreats and relationship coaching, as well as his books, blog, and other self-help tools, at his website,

Books by John Grey