MONEY MAGIC Unleashing Your True Potential for Prosperity and Fulfillment Deborah L. Price
Chapter One The Money Game
“Man must choose whether to be rich in things or in the freedom to use them.”
— Ivan Illich, Deschooling Society, 1971
In my work as a financial consultant during the past fifteen years, I have frequently observed the game people play with money. The primary objective of this game is to hide and keep hidden the deep layer of anxiety, fear, and shame we feel about money. Silently, we have lived with this discomfort, accepting it as our fate. We have become skillful players at this game of hide-and-seek, but we have forgotten that what lies hidden still lives within us. We have become disconnected from our inner reality, thus giving away our power and leaving little room for understanding our relationship with money and its meaning in our lives. Having relinquished control, we have become the pawns in the money game and let money rule our every move.
Unconsciously, we have accepted that money is our greatest resource, and then we feel we have wasted, neglected, abused, avoided, or coveted it. You name it, most of us have done it. Secretly, we feel guilty and ashamed and unable to communicate these feelings to others. How did we as a civilization come to not only surrender our power to money but also deny the control it has over our lives and well-being?
Many civilizations existed before us that never used a currency or even knew what money was. When money finally came into use, it began to shape history and our belief system in profound and lasting ways. Even centuries later, we do not understand all the effects of money on our lives or how it shapes our world. Money’s meaning continues to elude us. Today, because of the inconceivable power and emphasis we have given it, the money game dictates our daily lives. We make decisions based on our feelings of not having enough money, we change careers because we want more money, and many even marry or divorce because of money. Practically every major decision we make is somehow shaped or influenced by money. Yet rarely do we examine what we’re truly seeking. Never before has humankind created a game so widely played that has no rule book, guidelines, or training. It is no wonder we hide. We don’t even know the rules!
Some Essential Truths about Money enlightenment conjures up the idea of some super-human accomplishment, and the ego likes to keep it that way, but it is simply your natural state of felt oneness with Being. It is a state of connectedness with something immeasurable and indestructible, something that, almost paradoxically, is essentially you and yet is much greater than you. It is finding your true nature beyond name and form. The inability to feel this connectedness gives rise to the illusion of separation, from yourself and from the world around you. You then perceive yourself, consciously or unconsciously, as an isolated fragment. Fear arises, and conflict within and without becomes the norm.
How did money became so powerful, when, in fact, it consists of pieces of paper that only have value to the extent that we believe they do? We have not understood that money, quite literally, is worth nothing without our belief in it. We created it. We gave it value. We made it powerful. And then, as the money game grew, these pieces of paper became our greatest resource, a resource so valuable that many people unconsciously worship it above all else. Now, our greatest misfortune is that without money, we feel that we are nothing.
Money is both mysterious and elusive. The more we are defined by it, struggle to get it, and greatly need it, the harder it is to obtain. One of the most amazing keys to having more money is to surrender to it. We must learn to integrate the universal spiritual laws into the world of money; the greatest of these laws is to surrender to what we cannot control.
We cannot and do not control money. Money is a commodity. Its value changes not only in relation to the economy but also in relation to our consciousness. We cannot control money, but by understanding it, we can obtain what we need. Money is not a part of us. We can never truly own it, because it isn’t really ours. And to the extent that we maintain the illusion of money as our safety net, we will remain prisoners of our own making. Money will own us if we let it.
Defining the Money Game
Our currency states the truth in its four simple words printed across each bill: “In God We Trust.” It might as well say, “In Money, Our God, We Trust.” That would be more honest. That would let us off the hook a bit by stating openly that money is what we truly believe in. Whether or not we are conscious of it, this truth is woven into the very fabric of our existence. We have put our faith and trust in money. This is one of the unspoken rules of the game. Few of us possess the insight to recognize this basic paradox. We have been programmed to believe in the material and the tangible. As a result, no matter how much money we have or how many possessions we accumulate, we do not experience fulfillment, and our endless search for substitutes to fill the void continues. Looking deeper into the symbolism found on our dollar, we find many other subliminal messages. First, our money is green, a color that symbolizes growth and resources. On the front of the dollar is a picture of our founding father, symbolizing the leadership of money as patriarchal. In our society, money has a distinctly male energy and is equated with winning and success. The largest money game in the world, Wall Street, is still largely controlled by men, with women representing less than 12 percent of that population. (This patriarchy, however, does not extend to having money. While markets are dominated by men, over half of this country’s wealth belongs to women.)
In today’s world, the “Wall Street” money game stands at the top of the hierarchy and is the game everyone wants to play. However, the deck is loaded and the stakes are high, since we don’t have access to the rule book.
Money has even more hidden meanings. When you turn the dollar bill over, you find the two great American seals: one, the American eagle, which is largely familiar, and the other, written in Latin, which is not widely understood. This more obscure seal is quite telling: inside it is a pyramid, consisting of thirteen stones, representing the original thirteen colonies. An “enlightened eye” stands at the top of the pyramid. The words above the all-seeing, all-knowing eye, annuit cœptis, are taken from Virgil and mean “He, God has smiled on our endeavor.” At the bottom of the pyramid are the words novus ordo seclorum, which translate as “the new order of the ages,” also adapted from Virgil. For a country founded on the principle of separation of church and state, there certainly are plenty of references to God on our money!
All evidence suggests that money, God, and religion were intertwined from the beginning of civilization. So it is no small wonder that money has become such a powerful force. Beneath all the symbolism is another hidden message that cuts to the core of the money game: If you’re good and you play by the rules, we, the gatekeepers, will show you the way to this powerful resource. In fact, the creation of the dollar was the birth of the first pyramid scheme, more popularly referred to as capitalism.
Money Unconsciousness As the Root of Our Pain
Capitalism and its underlying drive toward consumerism greatly influence the financial infrastructure of our own lives and how we deal with money. Perhaps our need for money is as much about sustaining our way of life and the survival of capitalism as it is about feeding our own unconscious needs and desires.
At any rate, of this I am certain: Money plays far too great a role in our lives for us to remain unconscious of what it means to us as individuals. We must become aware of its impact on our lives and our choices. Continuing to play the money game and denying that we live in the thrall of money only perpetuates our fears and anxieties, chipping away at our souls. As stated by philosopher Jacob Needleman in his book Money and the Meaning of Life: “Money enters so deeply into our personality and into our psychophysical organism that the personal exploration of money is necessary for the discovery of oneself, the discovery of those hidden parts of human nature...that need to be in relationship to our consciousness.1
Our lack of attention to our relationship with money is undoubtedly the root of much of our pain. It has often saddened me to witness the shame people experience over money. In conversations with my clients, I have discovered that much of our money shame comes from feeling like we don’t handle it well, that we’re “bad” with money. Each of us needs to carefully reexamine what path we are taking toward fulfillment. Fulfillment is not about filling your life up with material possessions. Yes, I know the thrill of spending money can feel like an “E” ticket at Disneyland. But when the ride is over, it’s over. That is pleasure, not fulfillment, and it wears off. The quick-fix approach will never cure us; it merely masks our deeper desire for meaning.
Searching for Meaning in the Material World
When I was twenty-nine years old, not long after my divorce, I started to experience an unfamiliar restlessness. Although my marriage had failed, I was in a new relationship that was loving and fulfilling. My business was beginning to take off. I was making more money than I’d ever made before. I was the master of my own destiny, and yet I felt oddly detached from my life. I remember saying to myself, Okay, you’ve done all this, now what?
Then one day, as I was driving to work, I suddenly made a left turn and found myself sitting in the parking lot of a Porsche dealership. I had never even thought of buying a Porsche. Stunned, I sat for a while in my old but perfectly fine Mercedes-Benz, wondering to myself, What in the hell am I doing here? I truly didn’t know. Finally a salesman approached my car and asked if he could help me. I looked him directly in the eye and said, “Yes, I came to buy a Porsche, but I have to do it quickly because I’ve got to get back to my office.” He chuckled, but said he’d do his best to accommodate my schedule.
Two hours later, I drove out of that dealership in a brand-new midnight blue 944 Porsche coupe, fully equipped. I couldn’t really afford it, but that salesman just happened to be the owner of the dealership. After talking with me, he thought the car was just what I needed. So, he cosigned for it, telling me if I was ever late on one payment he would personally come and take it back.
How to Know What Is Real in Your Life
For a while that car brought me a great deal of pleasure. I felt successful. People thought I was successful. Some even thought I was rich. It was an enlightening experience. I was the same person I always was. All that had happened was that I had purchased an expensive sports car, a status symbol (and one usually owned by men), and it had changed my life. I was perceived and treated differently, and not always for the better. People were envious, and my car was vandalized several times. One time, someone carved their feelings about my car into its sides with a key. I also began to attract people who were more materialistic than I was comfortable with. The Porsche never really mattered much to me. It was a fun toy, but I didn’t really identify with it. Getting the car did not cure my restlessness. It did, however, motivate me to work harder so that I could keep up with the payments.
What I learned, and what I hope to impart to you, is that only one thing is real: your connection to Spirit, however you define it, and your faith in that Spirit. There is no other security. Without this connection, we will never feel that we are loved enough, that we have enough, that we are enough. Without this faith, we will not know true fulfillment, regardless of how much money we have or how many things we try to fill our lives with.
Understanding the Energy of Money
Do not misunderstand me. I am not saying that money is bad, because it isn’t. I happen to like money: I’m just not attached to it. It is just something that happens to have a lot of energy. If you use it consciously, the energy of money can manifest whatever you desire in your life. Conversely, when you use the energy of money unconsciously, it can draw things into your life that you could not possibly anticipate or desire.
It took me a long time to reach this understanding. It is no accident that I wrote this book or that Money Therapy is my teaching. I have spent a great deal of my life learning about money. I have chased money, made money, married money, loved money, and hated money. I have experienced the thrill of having it all and the agony of losing it. Put simply, playing the money game can be quite costly. It is the ultimate game of “truth or consequences,” in which we learn that without the truth, we are left to live in the shadow of self-deception latent with unknown consequences.
Why We Lose the Money Game
When it comes to money, most people lead imagined as opposed to real lives. We imagine what our lives will be when we’re “rich.” We imagine the great deeds we can do, the difference we can make. We imagine what we could have, buy, or become. We measure the possibility of our greatness according to the amount of wealth bestowed upon us. We have been fantasizing instead of living and becoming what we desire. In the process, we have become disconnected from our innate power to manifest our own reality.
We have given our power away to money. In effect, we’re telling ourselves: “I can’t do it on my own, it’s too hard, I’m too tired. Here, you do it for me.” If the money shows up in our lives, we can be and have what we imagined. If it doesn’t, then we cannot. Living this way, we do not have to be responsible for what happens in our lives. After all, we were not in charge of our money. The money didn’t show up; therefore, little of who or what we dreamed of happened either.
At the other end of the money spectrum lies a different kind of player. These players have already “made it” and are considered by most standards “rich.” It matters not whether they earned the money, won it, inherited it, or stole it: The result is the same. We think that the end - lots of money - justifies the means. Most of us believe that having money will buy us freedom and unlimited options. This isn’t true. In my experience, people with money suffer as much as those without; it is just a different kind of suffering, as evidenced by the hordes of the newly rich in the Silicon Valley who are flocking to therapists to treat their “sudden wealth syndrome.”
Having all the freedom and options in the world can be a terrible burden to even the most well-adjusted person, and this is even more true if you do not have your act together. Wealth does not suddenly make personal or psychological problems disappear. To the contrary, it often magnifies them. Having that much power can work against you - or the people in your life - if you’re not careful how you use it. Unfortunately, since most of us still carry around a fair amount of unresolved baggage, having money only adds to our load. It’s not as if you can just go out and buy a new set of empty baggage. We have to carry that old stuff around. Only now, our baggage is heavier. It has money in it, lots of money.
People with money play the money game in different ways. They don’t have to imagine their lives the way others do. Instead, they feel a need to do something with their lives and with all that money. They have to watch over it, invest it wisely, give it away to the “right” causes, decide how to spend it, and accumulate more. This process creates a tremendous cautiousness; you can’t be too careful when you have money. You have to have your guard up, because suddenly it’s hard to know whom you can trust. Even J. Paul Getty, one of the richest men in the world, once said, “I find having all this money a considerable burden.”
People with money often feel guilty and undeserving. Having money frequently causes relationship problems, especially if one person has significantly more than the other. People with money often have difficulty with trust and intimacy; they are often envied by their closest friends and family members and are pursued by the greed of others. Observing this cautiousness and difficulty with intimacy in my clients and others caused me to conclude that it is impossible to be truly free if you are constantly feeling the need to be guarded and have difficulty knowing whom or what you can trust. Consequently, wealth without consciousness is but another state of poverty. This kind of poverty is often overlooked, because it is invisible on the outside. If we could see inside these people, however, we would see as much fear and loneliness as exists in any state of poverty, only we seldom empathize with the rich.
Your mind is an instrument, a tool. It is there to be used for a specific task, and when the task is completed, you lay it down. As it is, I would say about 80 to 90 percent of most people’s thinking is not only repetitive and useless, but because of its dysfunctional and often negative nature, much of it is also harmful. Observe your mind and you will find this to be true. It causes a serious leakage of vital energy.
A New Way to Win the Money Game
We have set ourselves up to lose the money game. Fortunately, we can learn to play it differently. This book will offer you some new strategies for success that can lead you to greater abundance and a sense of fulfillment - the kind of fulfillment that comes from within. The process of Money Therapy will help you discover your own truth about money and its meaning in your life. Part of this process is to look at how we arrived where we are, both personally and historically, and then to explore ways to move beyond this place.
The eight money types, described in chapter 3, can become a guide to discovering the impact of your past experiences with money and to changing your approach in the future. You will learn to identify unconscious beliefs and behavior patterns that may be obstacles to receiving all that is available to you. Recognizing your money type is key to understanding the meaning behind why you hide and what you are truly seeking.
As you proceed through this book and work through the exercises, you will begin to peel back the layers of your unconscious. As you become more aware of how you play the money game, you can begin to identify the obstacles in your path and discover ways to make meaningful change. It is only through increasing your awareness that you can change your relationship with money and begin to play the money game differently. It is time to create your own rules based on your own truth. When you do, you will have reclaimed your power and you will begin to manifest the world you truly desire. We need to stop giving away our power and to learn that the source of money, and of all things, exists within each of us. The most effective and powerful way to tap into this source is through our daily connection to Spirit. Throughout this book you will be asked to look inward, to find your own source. You will learn to harness the power within you. In achieving this, you will hold the key to manifesting your own reality - including money.
Exercise Grand Scale Imagining
This exercise is designed to help you become clear about your real values. It will help you to define what having money really means to you. It will provide a new framework for understanding the relationship between your money and your life. It is important to always remember what it is you are truly seeking. When what you seek is grounded in your own truth, you are infinitely powerful in your ability to transform your reality.
You have just received news that you have won the lottery. Your entire life, as you have known it, is about to change forever. Complete the following exercise, answering the questions as honestly as you can.
I suggest you begin using your Money Therapy journal with this exercise. The process of recording your responses in a journal will help you track your progress and will provide you with valuable insight about yourself.
1. How much is your lottery ticket worth?
2. How does having all that money make you feel?
3. How much money per month do you plan to give yourself to live on?
4. In what way (or ways) will the quality of your life be affected?
5. Do you have any fears about how this money might change you or your life?
6. If given a choice, would you prefer that people know or not know of your newly acquired wealth?
7. What are you going to do with the money? Make a specific plan. Write it down step-by-step.
8. What aspects of your plan are essential to your happiness?
Write these aspects of your plan on a separate sheet of paper. Carry this around with you, in your purse or wallet. Read it daily. Meditate or pray for guidance in helping you manifest it. Believe in it so that you may become it.
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