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New World Library Unshelved

New World Library Unshelved

Positive news and inspiring views from the New World Library community


Monday, October 26, 2015
7 STEPS TO CRAFTING A SHE-CENTERED LIFE by Sara Avant Stover, author of THE BOOK OF SHE
 

A woman’s spiritual life is an evolution. She must build it herself. Stepping onto the feminine spiritual path feels very much like wandering into a magical forest. There’s no clearly paved road. The circumstances of our lives guide us. We find our way through trusting what we’re drawn to.

There is, however, a set of principles that I find to reign in this vast, magical forest, and that you can use as your compass along your own path. These all support us in living from our feminine wisdom, which I call one’s “SHE.”

1. Cultivate a SHE Space
An inward-guided life only comes from ongoing practice. This takes time, discipline, and devotion. Daily rituals ground us, allowing all of our actions to align with our deepest priorities. Just like you can’t win the Olympics without training every day, you can’t become a Heroine without carving out time every day for communing with and becoming Her.

We each need to create a strong container for our daily training times (even if it’s just for 10 minutes!) for rituals of caring for ourselves at every level. These rituals can include conscious embodiment, contemplation, and creativity.

2. Clarify Your Priorities
How can we possibly attain what we want if we don’t even know what that is? We need to continually update our priorities to make sure we’re going after the most meaningful things in life. 

To get started, in your journal, write down the top three priorities in your life, in their order of priority. Now look at your day today. How are these three priorities represented? Eliminate or reduce anything that isn’t one of your top three priorities in order to find the time to live the life you want to live, daily.

3. Think: This and That, Not This or That
Radical inclusion, not binary thinking, pulses at the heart of feminine spiritual practice. Just as the color white contains every hue of the rainbow, our aim is to feel and contain everything at once, without closing to any of it. 

Society condones only select expressions of femininity — namely the good girl and the mother. Can we each embody every possible emanation of womanhood? The witch? Seductress? Bitch? Wild woman? Queen? Priestess? A quick way to know where we’re closed is to notice if we mind taking the form of any of these expressions.

4. Put Sisterhood at the Center
We need circles of supportive, like-minded women who understand this path, and with whom we can share both our triumphs and our stuck points. We need sisters who can see what’s possible for us, without getting caught in the mire of petty competition.

Notice any aversion you have to being supported by other women, and keep moving toward it anyway. The relationships you have with other women mirror your relationship to the feminine at-large. As you heal your ties with other women, the effects will reverberate out to strengthen all other aspects of this journey.

5. Stop Being a Victim
Take 100 percent responsibility for your life. There are no scapegoats here. No blaming. No shaming. Any and every time that you point your finger at someone else (e.g., they hurt me; he took my power; she made me angry), see that only one of your four fingers points at that person. Your other three fingers are pointing back at . . .YOU. It’s time to wake up to all the ways in which you are hurting yourself. Everything “out there” is a mirror for what’s happening “in here.” Stop living in the past through incessant blaming and regret.

6. Follow the Signs
Feminine wisdom has gone underground, so we need to look to the Goddess in less obvious places, following underlying signs. SHE speaks through our dreams, recurring symbols and themes, and animal totems.

SHE’s everywhere, infusing our days with playful synchronicity. Willing to engage with anyone who’s ready to pick up Her signal, SHE’s constantly communicating with us.

What are the hidden messages coming up from Her through your unconscious, trying to make their way into the light of day? Are you listening?

7. Ask Yourself: Are You in Love?
In any moment, whether you’re on the meditation cushion or on hold during a call with your airline ’s not-so-great customer service, there’s one question you can answer yourself to know whether or not you’re engaged in feminine spiritual practice:

Am I in love?


If the answer is no, then identify what needs to shift within you, right now — in your body, in your breath, in where you’re placing your energy and attention — in order for you to be able to answer yes to this question.



These steps help us to sculpt our path from the inside out, rather than adhere to a prescribed dogma. They empower us to create the lives we most desire, rooted in our SHEs, our unshakable feminine wisdom.

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Based on the book The Book of SHE: Your Heroine’s Journey into the Heart of Feminine Power, copyright © 2015 by Sara Avant Stover.

Sara Avant Stover
, a yoga and meditation instructor, bestselling author, and founder of the Way of the Happy Woman®, has uplifted tens of thousands of women worldwide through her retreats and online programs. She has been featured in Yoga Journal, the Huffington Post, Newsweek, and Natural Health and on ABC, NBC, and CBS. Find her new book, The Book of SHE, at www.TheBookofSHE.com.


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